I don't know who teens fall in love with today, but I'd bet they are movie or singing stars. In my day it was Robert Redford, Jimmy Stewart, Paul Newman, Spencer Tracy; Frank Sinatra's singing was my favorite, but he didn't make it on the macho scale.
It had to do with how they looked and behaved on film, and it never goes away. That tall, strong, silent handsome man is still the standard creating heart throbs after 75 years of learning that no man is really like that, not even them. They were great actors who gave us a dream that wasn't real. And we used it to measure all men.
There is no way to reprogram that!! A life time of watching their films where, after for all the world it felt like "if I wait long enough, hunt relentlessly, I'll find that man." And it was so real that it didn't occur to me that if I found him, he would not choose me. He would choose Marilyn Monroe!! Because it happened to men too!
They seem even more hooked than women are. They are so programmed to seek beautiful women that they even ditch their wife and children to marry a younger more beautiful one, sometimes on into their dotage. As long as they are beautiful nothing else seems to matter. They can't give up their fantasies either. Is that why porn is so popular? I'd bet my bottom dollar!
Both men and women cheated themselves by falling for the Hollywood view of relationships. We fell for it hook, line and sinker and looked for a fantasy for a partner in life. The lucky ones didn't believe it, and were able to select well, and enjoy their partner without yearning for an air brushed Hollywood fantasy. I hope Hollywood does better for the next generation.
If I were to choose now, I'd look for a companion who is sweet and giving with a good sense of humor; someone who enjoys great art, theater, and gardening. A guy who loves to be at home but likes an exciting world trip for vacations. He reads a lot and knows what's going on in the world, who still believes he can make the world better, and puts energy and creativity into his ideas. A person who keeps up with how to live, eat, and cook so that he keeps himself healthy and vibrant. A person who enjoys people from a wide variety of cultures and experiences. A person who has projects and enthusiasms, and finds great joy in life. And talks to me about it all. But not all the time, I need lots of quiet time. I'd settle for part of that. I want a lot!!
None of that has anything to do with tall, handsome and macho. If I could go round again, I'd give up the Hollywood view so that I could match my physical responses and desires to who I am. If we weren't sold an unrealistic fantasy from an early age would we be more content in marriage? Would we make wiser choices and look for a person who has many qualities we admire. Would we be more realistic about what marriage has to offer?
I'd bet my bottom dollar!
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