My grand mother, whom I grew up with, was born in the 1850's, that takes me very personally back to the era of Abraham Lincoln!!! That realization was an epiphany for me. This was the time when American women started to ask for voting rights. They were asking to share power. They didn't get the vote until 1920.
This was the beginning of the tsunami that began to hit individuals, couples and family relationships. A transition from the time when men owned their wives and children, and were the sole owners of all family property. They provided for their family; killed rattle snakes, bears and wolves who threatened their families. They controlled decisions in the family, community, state and federal government. Men built a railroad across the country in 5 years, fought 2 world wars, and settled the country.
During those 150 + years women have slowly begun to share the power. It is no wonder that there are many areas where there is still a lot of resistance, resentment, and much to learn for both men and women. In the long run it will be a win win.
When I look at individuals, couples, and family relationships with a wide lens of this period of time I can see communication difficulties more clearly and I can be more patient.
Example
When a woman comes home from work very upset, she may want to tell her partner about it. A male's knee jerk reaction is to fix it, that's what he has done for generations, it's in his bones. He may tell her what she should have done, or get angry at the person who insulted her. Or even get angry at her for her part in it.
But what she had wanted was to share her feelings, to have him just "get" what she is feeling. So she feels disappointed. He feels resentful and unappreciated. And neither of them have any idea that this is some of the spin off of traditions from a male dominated society. We are still trying to learn new skills that work better in a society where men and women are more equal. It's a process, and sometimes a very painful one.
The good news is that these are skills that can be learned. We know that because we've already learned so much.