You may suddenly be drawn to your “to do” list or want to take a nap. But hang in, this information may save you and your family as well as our country.
I began gathering data about rape in the 1970’s when I was working at Rutger’s University as a Marriage and Family Therapist. I included the question - have you ever been raped - on a 92 question anonymous questionnaire that was completed by over 7000 students who participated in a 28 hour workshop that I designed called The Self in Relationships. I gave it for 300 students a semester, for most of that decade and into the 80’s.
It had never occurred to me that rape was a huge problem in our country. Even though I’d worked with rape victims as a therapist. I was stunned when the results came back!! Over 23% of the women and 14% of men revealed they had been raped! It was consistent every semester over most of a decade. I could not believe it, so I sampled the total campus population of 25,000 and the results were virtually the same. Do the math, that’s roughly 5750 women and 3500 men.
Jon Krakauer, in his book Missoula, found that 23% of women had been raped at Missoula College, 80% by someone they knew. “When someone is raped in the USA, more than 90% of the time the rapist gets away with the crime” he wrote.
Researcher’s David Lisak, Univ. of Mass. and Paul M. Miller, Brown Univ. School of Medicine, in an in-depth study of college men, reported that of 1,882 male respondents, 120 self-reported 1225 acts of sexual violence. Forty had committed it once, while 80 had raped 1185 women. None were ever reported to authorities or were prosecuted according to these male college student.
A very large research project was completed in which there were 150,000 responders from U.of Pa; Minn; Mich; U of So. Ca., also Harvard, Yale, Princeton and others. Results ranged from 23%, the lowest; most were around 25%; several were 30%, of the women reported having been raped.
It’s not just colleges. The Women’s Foundation of Colorado, did a survey of the general female population in 2013, it revealed 23%, a total of 451,000 women were raped, and 897,000 experienced sexual violence. Also 10% of high school girls reported being raped.
It is usually believed that 90% of rape goes unreported. I believe it is closer to 100% for men; except for those men who revealed that Catholic priests raped/sexually abused them when young. Then the Catholic Church protected hundreds of priests from prosecution. See the award winning film Spotlight?
Many thought that if women were encouraged to report rape to the police, we could begin to deal with the problem.They were urged to report, and many did.
After Rape Kits were developed, women followed police instructions to go to a hospital to get a Rape kit, so the police would have the DNA, giving them a better chance of convicting the rapist. Many women who did, endured the trauma of reliving the rape as testing was done. If it was a Catholic hospital they were refused the morning after pill and abortion.
It is generally believed that about 6% of the rapists are caught and prosecuted. Then she must pay for a lawyer. If impregnated she must decide on adoption, abortion (if legal in her state), or becoming a mother; 31 states allow the rapists custody and visitation rights!
Then it was discovered that most police stations stored the Rape Kits without getting them analyzed, thousands and thousands of rape kits deteriorating in store rooms. According to the Attorney General, in 2014, over 400,000 were stored in police stations all over the country. The federal gov. offered to give the police the money they needed to have the Kits analyzed. (their excuse was they didn’t have the funds to do it) Some did but there are still thousands in storage and going out of date every day. You have to wonder about that!
Some progress has been made. About 30 states now require that rape kits be analyzed.
You need to know:
*Guilty white men are often found innocent, while innocent brown men are often found guilty.
*Most rapists are married with children
*Most are known to the victim and many live within a mile
*Rapists can be a: doctor, boss, policeman, family member, priest, teacher, minister, baby sitter, therapist, neighbor, senator, president
*15% of all victims are under 12 years old
*About 3% of those caught are incarcerated for a few years. then released, often more damaged than before.
*There are 170 registered sex offenders living in my quiet town of 70,000 +
* Victims aren’t chosen by looks, babies and 90 year olds have been raped
*Victims most often suffer a life time and never tell anyone
*An unknown percent are serial rapists who roam the country raping
After effects of this trauma for both women and men include:
*body injury
*serious damage to self concept
*clinical depression, often for years or a life time
*impaired social ability
*ruined or diminished career
*profound guilt (women have traditionally been blamed)
*contracting HIV and or other sexually transmitted disease
*pregnancy (if female)
It had never occurred to me that rape was a huge problem in our country. Even though I’d worked with rape victims as a therapist. I was stunned when the results came back!! Over 23% of the women and 14% of men revealed they had been raped! It was consistent every semester over most of a decade. I could not believe it, so I sampled the total campus population of 25,000 and the results were virtually the same. Do the math, that’s roughly 5750 women and 3500 men.
Jon Krakauer, in his book Missoula, found that 23% of women had been raped at Missoula College, 80% by someone they knew. “When someone is raped in the USA, more than 90% of the time the rapist gets away with the crime” he wrote.
Researcher’s David Lisak, Univ. of Mass. and Paul M. Miller, Brown Univ. School of Medicine, in an in-depth study of college men, reported that of 1,882 male respondents, 120 self-reported 1225 acts of sexual violence. Forty had committed it once, while 80 had raped 1185 women. None were ever reported to authorities or were prosecuted according to these male college student.
A very large research project was completed in which there were 150,000 responders from U.of Pa; Minn; Mich; U of So. Ca., also Harvard, Yale, Princeton and others. Results ranged from 23%, the lowest; most were around 25%; several were 30%, of the women reported having been raped.
It’s not just colleges. The Women’s Foundation of Colorado, did a survey of the general female population in 2013, it revealed 23%, a total of 451,000 women were raped, and 897,000 experienced sexual violence. Also 10% of high school girls reported being raped.
It is usually believed that 90% of rape goes unreported. I believe it is closer to 100% for men; except for those men who revealed that Catholic priests raped/sexually abused them when young. Then the Catholic Church protected hundreds of priests from prosecution. See the award winning film Spotlight?
Many thought that if women were encouraged to report rape to the police, we could begin to deal with the problem.They were urged to report, and many did.
After Rape Kits were developed, women followed police instructions to go to a hospital to get a Rape kit, so the police would have the DNA, giving them a better chance of convicting the rapist. Many women who did, endured the trauma of reliving the rape as testing was done. If it was a Catholic hospital they were refused the morning after pill and abortion.
It is generally believed that about 6% of the rapists are caught and prosecuted. Then she must pay for a lawyer. If impregnated she must decide on adoption, abortion (if legal in her state), or becoming a mother; 31 states allow the rapists custody and visitation rights!
Then it was discovered that most police stations stored the Rape Kits without getting them analyzed, thousands and thousands of rape kits deteriorating in store rooms. According to the Attorney General, in 2014, over 400,000 were stored in police stations all over the country. The federal gov. offered to give the police the money they needed to have the Kits analyzed. (their excuse was they didn’t have the funds to do it) Some did but there are still thousands in storage and going out of date every day. You have to wonder about that!
Some progress has been made. About 30 states now require that rape kits be analyzed.
You need to know:
*Guilty white men are often found innocent, while innocent brown men are often found guilty.
*Most rapists are married with children
*Most are known to the victim and many live within a mile
*Rapists can be a: doctor, boss, policeman, family member, priest, teacher, minister, baby sitter, therapist, neighbor, senator, president
*15% of all victims are under 12 years old
*About 3% of those caught are incarcerated for a few years. then released, often more damaged than before.
*There are 170 registered sex offenders living in my quiet town of 70,000 +
* Victims aren’t chosen by looks, babies and 90 year olds have been raped
*Victims most often suffer a life time and never tell anyone
*An unknown percent are serial rapists who roam the country raping
After effects of this trauma for both women and men include:
*body injury
*serious damage to self concept
*clinical depression, often for years or a life time
*impaired social ability
*ruined or diminished career
*profound guilt (women have traditionally been blamed)
*contracting HIV and or other sexually transmitted disease
*pregnancy (if female)
Opinion: I believe that most men are not sex offenders. But almost all sex offenders are men. We need to make a concerted effort now to make sure all early childhood education includes teaching about good and bad touches; and give special attention to little boys, who at an early age are exhibiting violent behavior, even attacking their teachers. We need to fix laws that exacerbate the damage to victims and create a society that is healing for both men and women victims. We need to find the serial rapists and incarcerate them in facilities that know how to give them the therapy they need, so they can rejoin society. We need to make sure to vote for people who understand and advocate this.
If this was helpful for your understanding, share it with everyone you know, before the election. Now would be best, the election is just days away on Nov. 6th. We have a lot of work to do to deal with this problem and the Senate and House are key to putting people in power to do it, in both parties.
Pat McVeyRetired Marriage and Family Therapist
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