Wait A Minute!!

I  posted a blog about how Hollywood films affected my generation.

Several days later I woke up in the middle of the night saying Wait A
Minute!!!    I'm much more concerned about the media now!!

The availability of violence and impersonal sex,  twenty four/seven,
to people of all ages, is terrible.   Especially for children, who are able
to kill dozens of people before breakfast in a "game".   Films, TV, and
games are dominated by violence.

 It's all too real!   In the US 45,000 + are killed with guns every year. Compared to Japan
a country of 127 million, rarely has more than 10 gun deaths per year, the report said. 

Friends tell me that no one wants to read anything with a lot of statistics
in it.  But hang in there.   There is no other way to understand what is
happening to us.

A research study done in Co in 2013 found that an estimated 451,000
women in Colorado over 18 have been victims of rape and 897,000
have experienced sexual violence other than rape.   In addition, 10
percent of high school girls were "forced to have sex" -rape.  I think
it may be much higher than that.   About 90 percent of women don't
report rape, others report less, but it's unknowable.

Recent research of 27 University/Colleges, with 150,000 responding,
revealed a range of rape between13 percent at Cal Tech to 30 percent
at University of Michigan with an average of 23 percent at Columbia
University.   That is the result I got in years of research when I worked
at Rutgers University.  More surprising, it was 14 percent for men.

Is the media programming our society to be violent: constant war,
murder, and rape?  Looks like we are already there.....looking at it
helplessly........ hoping congress will do something.

But those in congress are supported by those who make the weapons,
films, TV content and games, in addition they are being controlled by
the National Rifle Association.

Do you think I should not have combined war, guns, and rape?   Maybe
not, but I think when you desensitize children to violence they fit together.
What do you think?

So looks like it’s up to us to do something if we want a safe society.
Vote only for those who will support gun control.  Then lets figure out
how to deal with violence in the media to protect children and everyone
else from watching constant violence!

Be Responsible for your Relationship Choice

Love sometimes makes it easier to live with some annoying habits and life styles, but it helps to reduce the number as much as you can.  Not by expecting the other person to change!!!   But by carefully gathering information and choosing what you can live with.    

Approach the discussion from the point of view that NOTHING is “right” or “wrong”, it just IS.   You are going to try to reduce friction and frustration by knowing in advance and choosing it.   Believe me, everyone assumes that the way they are is “normal and right”. 

Add and edit the list to make it fit you.  Circle your non-negotiables.    It’s easier to tell the truth if you individually answer the questions on paper, then share them.   Don’t wait until the night before the wedding!!

Possible issues
*Pets?  Dogs, cats, other:  Indoors or outdoors, who will feed, walk, shampoo, take to the Vet, and clean up after?  

*Neatnick or relaxed (disorganized), best to go into detail.   How clean do you like to live…in the house/apt, car, yard.   Who will do the work, how often?  

*Talking.  Do you tend to share?  Talk a lot?  Prefer silence?

*How important is food?  Favorite food?   When to eat?  Who cooks?  Who cleans up?  How important in the budget?

*Children?   How many.   Do you believe in handing down strict rules or would you be more likely to combine rules with  talking  stuff over.   Abortion if things go wrong?   Contraceptive, who, what?  Children from previous relationship will be what part of this relationship?  How often and how do you like to spend time with parents, siblings and other relatives?

*Spender or saver?   How do you tend to do that?   Do you invest part of your income every month.   Do you budget the rest.   Do you contribute regularly, to what?  Who is going to handle the income?   How much debt do you have now?   How much saved?   What assets?   Are you supporting anyone else?     Who will you leave assets to?

*Want to rent or own?   City or rural?   How do you like to vacation?

*How do you relax?  With others or alone?  Noisy or quiet?   Sports or theater etc?   Favorite music?  All the time or occasionally.   TV, what and how much?   Read, what and how much.   How much alone time do you need, in what way?  

* To what extent can you make a commitment to a caring relationship?   What and how often relationships with others.   Casual friends?  Sex with others?   If you change your mind, how will it be handled.  If an uncommitted relationship, how will you protect each other from sexual transmitted
disease.

*Importance of religion and politics in your life?   How do you participate?

*Touching, constant skin hunger or don’t like being touched?   Where and how and how often in detail.  How and in what way will you communicate your desires? 

No one is a good mind reader.  But most people are willing to give and take or take turns about some things.  Hope this list will gives a basis for discussion.